Dubya's resume

This was posted by axbridge over at the ATKOL forums. I thought it was nothing short of brilliant and that you guys would appreciate it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

axbridge

(Posted 7/11/2003 2:38:00 PM)

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for Congress and lost. I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that gave me land using taxpayer money.

BIGGEST MOVE: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox. With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the nation. I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. I became president afer losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I attacked and took over 2 countries. I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury. I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history. I set the economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock market. I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner. I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history. After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history. I set the record for more campaign fundraising trips, while in office, than any other president in US history.

In my first 2 years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs. I cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history. I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television. I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history. I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves, as past presidents have. I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for the most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history. My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history. Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The "poorest" multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.) I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go technically bankrupt. I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world. I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States. I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history. During my presidency the United Nations removed the US from the human rights commission - another first in US history. During my presidency, the UN also removed the US from the elections monitoring board - also a first for the US.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of Congressional oversight, than any presidential administration in US history. I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 elections). I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations. My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of ENRON Corp.) I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history. I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1) I am the first US president to establish, in effect, a secret shadow government. I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 9/11, and, in less than a year, made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).

I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea. I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I set the all-time record for the number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts. I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive". I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months, I have no leads and zero suspects. In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks, I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States. I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and, in less than 2 years, turned every single economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: I have at least 1 conviction for drunk driving in Maine. (TX driving record has been arrested and is not available.) I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war. I refuse to take drug test or even answer questions about drug use. All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All minutes of meetings for any public corporation whose board I served on are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. For personal references, please speak to my Daddy or Uncle James Baker. (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)

the really sad thing about your post is.........the dumbasses who support this clown don't care about facts.

just as long as they can afford to rent some dick to suck on,....screw the country. pitiful bastards they are.

And if you need more support of W's cv, read the book "Shrub" by Molly Iverson. You won't know whether to laugh or cry.

Maybe they're waiting for Dumbass Dubya to totally wreck the economy so they can buy those cocks for a buck a suck?

Very, very scary, especially because it's true.

I would not have put in the stock market comment--I see the drop as reflecting 9/11. However, I would have added that during his reign, savings interest rates have dropped to their lowest levels ever in modern times (at least in my memory). They are at 0.5% in some banks. Historically, many (probably most) working class and middle class Americans have made investment money through savings accounts, not in the stock market. That is now impossible.

So very very sad that this isn't a parody. The one thing I'm most worried about is that when the election comes along many voters may vote for him simply because they don't want to be seen as throwing him out by bending to pressure from the contempt the rest of the world has for him and us for electing him. I don't know if this worry is unfounded or not but it seems like the French posting illustrates this point somewhat. The last thing we as Americans want sometimes is to look like we're taking the advice of other countries.

Though I certainly don't have any specific studies to back my impression of things in this matter up.

:-P

Gio in Denver

http://www.angelfire.com/co3/massagebygio

>I don't know if this worry is unfounded or not but it

>seems like the French posting illustrates this point somewhat.

What French posting?

>So very very sad that this isn't a parody. The one thing I'm

>most worried about is that when the election comes along many

>voters may vote for him simply because they don't want to be

>seen as throwing him out by bending to pressure from the

>contempt the rest of the world has for him and us for electing

>him.

You shouldn't feel guily about that. Never forget YOU DID NOT ELECT THIS FUCKING IDOT. He was appointed by a group of so-called Justices who have proven to the world that the USA is NOT a democracy after all!

fukamarine

Hey wait guys, the Republicans here in the message center will be able to refute each and every detail of this slam on our president. Won't they?

They'll be able to do that about the same time that Dubya finds those WMD in Iraq and he restores integrity to the White (very White) House

> he restores integrity to the White

>(very White) House

I was just looking at a story on tv about Bush's closest foreign policy team. Funny - it didn't look very white to me.

What REALLY looks white were all of Clinton's closest foreign policy advisers (Warren Christopher, Sandy Berger, etc); in fact, all of his important, close advisers were white.

The only non-whites in Clinton's Administration were put in the back of the bus positions - HUD, Education, etc. Bush is the first President ever to appoint blacks to the premiere positions of true power.

Say what you want about Bush - but accusing him of making the White House too white is just not a fair comment.

Gosh, doug, after reading Bush's resume, my heart bleeds when someone says something unfair about him. How about the fairness to all of those 2 million newly unemployed? That didn't seem to get your sympathy.

>Gosh, doug, after reading Bush's resume, my heart bleeds when

>someone says something unfair about him. How about the

>fairness to all of those 2 million newly unemployed? That

>didn't seem to get your sympathy.

You missed my point. I wasn't defending Bush's record as President. There are a lot of fair grounds on which one can fairly and legitimately criticize him.

Accusing him of making the White House "too white," however, is simply not one of them.

Ah yes, can't defend good ol Shrub so we'll do what we ALWAYS do: invoke the name of Bill Clinton.

We're discussing the Pretendident, not the last elected president, but the Supreme Court appointed Pretendident serving out the term of the duly elected president, Al Gore. Of course, brother Jeb and his msitress, the not so lovely Katherine Harris, made sure that enough minority voters were disenfranchised so that the election would be thrown into chaos and right into the hands of the Supreme Court.

CLINTON IS NOT PRESIDENT ANYMORE.

Get over it and discuss Shrub on his own (lack of) merit.

As for Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice: they're called TOKENS.

At least Powell is about to jump ship and regain some of his integrity.

>Accusing him of making the White House "too white," however,

>is simply not one of them.

Is that what BON was doing? That isn't the way I read it. My interpretation was that it was a reference to the fact that White House is so appropriate a name for the Executive Mansion as only WHITE MEN have ever occupied it as US President. Come to think of it isn't mansion itself an historical throwback to the ante-bellum South of the white master in the big house? It is located in former slave owning southern territory after all.

Apologies to BON if I misinterpreted.

:-) Well said. When stated as an opinion or impression, studies aren't needed, like they are when stated as bald facts.

>Is that what BON was doing? That isn't the way I read it.

Given that he just wrote a post where he disgustingly referred to Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice as "tokens" - as in "token blacks" - as in: "they may be the most influential and serious foreign policy leaders on the planet, but to me, they are just 'tokens blacks'" - I don't see how it can be doubted that that's exactly what he meant.

> My

>interpretation was that it was a reference to the fact that

>White House is so appropriate a name for the Executive Mansion

>as only WHITE MEN have ever occupied it as US President.

I'll never understand people who see other people as a function of their race. When I look at the prior presidents, I see individual human beings with a multitude of characteristics. When you look at them, you see their race (they are "WHITE MEN").

No wonder racial problems persist - so many people incapable of seeing past a person's race.

Like the one who called Powell and Rice "tokens' - truly repugnant.

>Ah yes, can't defend good ol Shrub so we'll do what we ALWAYS

>do: invoke the name of Bill Clinton.

When one administration is criticized for something, it is only natural to compare it to the prior administration, to see if the current administration constitutes an improvement or a decline.

As far as appointing African-Americans and other non-white to TRULY prominent positions, as opposed to token appointments to the outer-realm cabinet positions, this Administration constitutes a great improvement over every other administration in the history of the Republic, including the prior one.

>We're discussing the Pretendident, not the last elected

>president, but the Supreme Court appointed Pretendident

>serving out the term of the duly elected president, Al Gore.

>Of course, brother Jeb and his msitress, the not so lovely

>Katherine Harris, made sure that enough minority voters were

>disenfranchised so that the election would be thrown into

>chaos and right into the hands of the Supreme Court.

Funny how you were just telling me to "move on" - and yet you are still stuck in the Florida election of 2000 -- almost 3 years ago now.

>As for Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice: they're called

>TOKENS.

Congratulations on making the most repugnant comment I have ever read on the Internet. It's a shame you can't see past a person's race, and are willing to smear some of the most accmoplished leaders in our country with insulting racial epithets just to advance your own partisian bitterness.

>Funny how you were just telling me to "move on" - and yet you

>are still stuck in the Florida election of 2000 -- almost 3

>years ago now.

Because we're still paying the price (ie one more dead soldier every day in Iraq from that mistake)

>>As for Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice: they're called

>>TOKENS.

>

>Congratulations on making the most repugnant comment I have

>ever read on the Internet. It's a shame you can't see past a

>person's race, and are willing to smear some of the most

>accmoplished leaders in our country with insulting racial

>epithets just to advance your own partisian bitterness.

First of all, in and of themselves, Colin Powell and Condi Rice are intelligent and accomplished individuals. They weren't selceted by ShrubCheneyRove for that reason. They were selected because they are black. That they are qualified for their positions was jsut a happy afterthought for BushCo. As for smearing anyone, surely you don't consider Shrub an accomplished leader?

Next time, try actually reading what somone posts so that you can post an intelligent comment.

>I'll never understand people who see other people as a

>function of their race. When I look at the prior presidents,

>I see individual human beings with a multitude of

>characteristics. When you look at them, you see their race

>(they are "WHITE MEN").

>

>No wonder racial problems persist - so many people incapable

>of seeing past a person's race.

>

>Like the one who called Powell and Rice "tokens' - truly

>repugnant.

Well, imo, you are so full of crap it would take a fleet of roto rooter trucks to pump all of it out of you!! You are the ONE who brought up the race issue first, and no one else, but you! You are the one who took offense and jumped on the old racial bandwagon first aren't you? I suppose that you feel that someone less qualified (does the name Clarence Thomas ring a bell?) should be hired/appointed just to have racial diversity. You are the type that I will never understand and you are the type that that sees the person's race first and his/her qualifications second. And you are the type that is most REPUGNANT!!!!!!!!!!

I believe that a president is going to appoint those who most agree with his goals and policies and political ambitions REGARDLESS OF RACE!!!, but you are the one who criticized Clinton for not having enough minorities in the more so-called "presigious cabinet positions". It is okay for Bushwack to choose who he wants, but not Clinton (but the fact they were mostly white makes it bad, not because they were white and not because they did not met any of the above criteria?). A lot of Bush's appointments were just playing the political/race issue (it will help him rig the Florida vote again in 2004, won't it?)

Well said!!!

I also agree about Colin Powell, as I think he is intelligent and the only one in the cabinet who is honest, truthful and worth voting for as president. I hope he does leave as Shrub is so far beneath his abilities and is only ruining his reputation. When he tried to sound a voice of reason in the madness that is the current administration, old Shrub basically silenced him (kind of like telling him "you are the top house nigger, but you're still just a nigger, so don't forget your place").

The defenders of Bush are so pathetic they should be pitied not castigated. Especially those who are gay. The stupidest thing they do is to support their position by bringing up Clinton, who I do believe won the election twice by an overwhelming majority of the popular and electoral votes, including against Shrub Sr. And their main criticism is what? His morals for having sex with a legal aged female intern? What a joke, considering a lot of them are engaged in the illegal practice of hiring male escorts years if not decades younger than them, and many while still being married to a woman against their vows of faithfulness. What a joke that is!!

How could anyone defend a lying, duplicitous, defenseless jerk like our current president, so dishonest that in cahoots with his brother and his father's Supreme Court appointments stole the election in 2000 and is making plans to do the same in 2004? Yeah, that is so much better than Bill Clinton (3 times the man, and 10 times more qualified than the clown currently in office).

>Given that he just wrote a post where he disgustingly referred

>to Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice as "tokens" - as in "token

>blacks" - as in: "they may be the most influential and serious

>foreign policy leaders on the planet, but to me, they are just

>'tokens blacks'" - I don't see how it can be doubted that

>that's exactly what he meant.

What nonsense. If Condi were white, she would have had to resign on 9/11. I can't think of a Secretary of State or National Security Advisor who have carried as little weight in an Administration since perhaps before WWII, and that's veing charitable. Wolfowitz occupies both positions in fact, and these two are tokens or what ever else Harry Belafonte called them earlier!

>Well, imo, you are so full of crap it would take a fleet of

>roto rooter trucks to pump all of it out of you!!

You should put away your book of "101 Best Internet Insults"; they are nothing but cliches and make you look stupid and desperate.

>You are the

>ONE who brought up the race issue first, and no one else, but

>you!

I will never understand what people like you think you can accomplish by lying on an Internet Message Board about what was said, since the Board records what was saying and anyone with eyes can see that you are lying.

The discussion of race began when this Nick person referred to the "White (very white) House". As he made clear, he was accusing the Bush Administration of not appointing enough "non-whites," and accusing him of appointing only "tokens" - such as Gen. Powell and Dr. Rice, not to mention his White House legal counsel, Alberto Gonzalez.

You then defended Nick's racial reference by writing a post which, for some reason, talked about the race of prior Presidents.

It was at that point that I observed how sad it was that people like you and Nick are incapable of judging a person as an individual, but can only see them as a function of their race.

Lying and trying to pretend that I was the one who brought up race will do you as much good as spewing the DNC cliches which started this thread will accomplish with the electorate - which is to say, none at all.

>What nonsense. If Condi were white, she would have had to

>resign on 9/11.

So you think that she's incompetent, and able to stay in her job only because of her race? That's what you think of her?

I can't think of a Secretary of State or

>National Security Advisor who have carried as little weight in

>an Administration since perhaps before WWII, and that's veing

>charitable. Wolfowitz occupies both positions in fact, and

>these two are tokens or what ever else Harry Belafonte called

>them earlier!

Other than the fact that the names "Rice" and "Powell" are not Jewish names, do you have any other basis for asserting that they have no influence on our Government or its policies?